Vacation Day 5

OK... so yesterday wasn't very eventful depending on what your consider adventure. Kevin didn't really do anything crazy except using the ladies room but I guess the signs in Spanish can be confusing.  I guess the lil chick in the dress icon wasn't enough.

So Wednesday was Spa day. I thought this would be my favorite day but it didn't end up that way. So I swore I was about to get my 'Real Housewife' on, but little did I know that the cost of beauty those women pay was a check my a$$ couldn't cash.

It started as a nice couples massage. Which was pretty good. Kevin later told me  ole' girl was a little rough on him but the MAN in him wouldn't let him ask her to go easy. Dudes!....anyway the real deal came when I decided I was gonna be glam and get a body treatment. I requested a jojoba bean body scrub exfoliation. This is to exfoliate the entire body and leave you glowing!

Well, after a very relaxing massage I was taken into a room that reminded me of  mortuary! There was a big white tub with a table in it, lined in plastic with towels all over the place. On the ceiling were all these shower heads attached to this big piece of glass. I was told to strip down and lay on the table... I covered my teets and whoohaha with these small towels. I felt like I was about to be  embalmed! She first rubbed me down in this citrus smelling oil, which was nice and totally threw me off from what was about to happen. She then used the salt scrub they usually use on your feet all over me. Now it wouldn't have been so bad but this woman had the strongest hands I had ever felt! I swear this woman scrubbed off not only a layer of dead skin but old childhood chickenpox marks and tattoos! I swear I was on fire!! This was NOT the relaxing and refreshing body treatment I thought it was going to be.

But that is not where it ends! After she braised me from toes to ears, she covered my face with a small towel and moved the ceiling showers right above me and turned them on. She turned them on one by one starting at my feet and going up... all of a sudden the shower head blasted down on my chest and soaked the towel on my face. I flipped out! Have you ever had a towel on your face and someone spill water on it?! It felt like I was drowning. I swore I have seen them use that move as a method of torture in  movies. I started flappin around on that table and freakin out! She finally recognized my panic and turned the jets off and used a hand held shower head to rise me.

When it was over, yes I had baby soft and smooth skin but I was traumatized! It felt like I had a full body sun burn! So if this is the kinda stuff those Richy, glitzy woman are into...I ain't about that life! I'm gonna stick to the spa mani/pedi.... that I can handle.



the Death Shower

We are now starting the last day of our vacation and will be back in Charlotte tomorrow night... my next post will probably be from the airport...wish us safe travels. Peace.

Vacation Days 3 & 4

So Monday and Tuesday were pretty good. Since Monday was the 4th, there were fireworks in one of the local towns and it was All American food in the buffet restaurant downstairs. They served a Mexican take on buffalo wings and mac n' cheese. It wasn't good but it was cute of them to  try. They even had the red, white and blue goin on....

We then spent the rest of the evening on the putt putt course... and we absolutely sucked! I ended up cheating the majority of the time and just using my club to drag the ball to the whole. I hate golf. But the worse came when a drunk guy on the course told us we sucked because we were using left handed clubs... then joked he thought we was drunk and better than me! The prick.

We decided to spend days 3 & 4 in the local towns. First we went to Cabo San Jose which was nice but really old. I guess you  call that "historic". There was this church there built in 1730. One of those churches you see in  movies, where  its all stained glass, candles and statues of Mary. The birds fly out the big open doors and you know its about to go down. It even came with a toothless town drunk. Kevin stood at the back of the church "keeping an eye on him if he 'jumped off'." I'm sure this dude had seen plenty of lost fights in his day and wasn't about to jump no where.

The next day we ventured out to Cabo San Lucas. This is the more "American" city....where you can find the Starbucks, other restaurants and the mall. So you know where I went!... this mall was pretty nice on the outside, but when you got inside was straight up Eastland. Empty stores, cops galore and Beyonce playin extra loud in the stores. But all in all it was nice. They even had a "luxury ave" in which you stepped out of Eastland and into South Park. Or should I say Lennox Mall?? I surely saw the most "fabulous" broke wrist Cabo had to offer. IDK if those lil blue things were shorts or underwear... but skinny boyfriend was workin it, you hear me!?! Eyebrows were tougher than mine!

Not sure if she was actually squeezing it or
if I just caught the pic that way?

Vacation Days 1 & 2

Well Happy 4th of July!

My bad for not posting since the airport fiasco, I've been eating, drinking, swimming and trying to adjust to this God forsaken time change since we got here.

So the hotel is pretty freaking awesome. Best thing about Mexico is as soon as you touch down they start offering you tequila. Margaritas were served as soon as we walked into the hotel... I was a little buzzed by the time we made it to the room!



The room is flipping awesome! They had that thing laid out for us...

Saturday was easy going...just getting adjusted and settled in. Kevin managed to remain normal and didn't give me any good  blog material. Whomp Whomp....

Yesterday was our first full day here... again because of the 2 hour time difference, we were up before the sun at 5:30am. So I convinced my love to hit the gym, with me....and he actually did it! Awww!

After breakfast, which again was flippin awesome.... we hit the beach. Or really the beach hit me...

Man, when I say these were some seriously fun waves.... so many times I found myself rolling up the beach at the tide brought me in. I thought was I swimming, but when a white guy ran up to me asking if I was OK, I figured my tumble from the sea looked as bad as it felt. The water claimed a braid or two, my sun shades and tried to take my bikini bottoms...I gave up after that and just hit the pool. Kevin, however, was smart enough to never gone out far enough into the water to reach his knees... so the currents never got the best of him. I can still hear him laughing.... Jerk! LOL

Anyway... time for a "Ghetto Act fact". Act Fact of the day- Tell the hotel staff you are there celebrating your Anniversary and see the free stuff roll in!

I swear this marriage thing has some nice benefits! Not just an excuse to call each other for no reason and not feel pressed, not just getting to spend all of your time with your favorite person, & not just having someone to love, cherish and respect you and all things you love.... but the benefit of all the free stuff you get in this first year!! LMBO!!!

So today is the 4th and we're about to get breakfast and hit one of the local towns for some shopping. I will be bringing back tequila, key chains and shot glasses like any other tourist...toodles.





Our first vacation: travel day 1

I soooo wish I could have gotten the lap top to connect sooner so the time stamp could be proof of the time. I knew it... I knew it and I said it. Here we are....a little over an hour and a half before the flight just sitting. I tried to kill time from the security check point by walking so slow I think I kinda pissed him off. But hey, Wheres the rush?

He woke me up at 4am, like he said he would and I swear before I could get out of the bathroom this man was fulling dressed and jingling keys... car was already sitting outside as he had pulled it out of the garage...bags at the staircase.. book bag on his back. Excited much? So... I wiped the crud out my eyes, choked on some Listerine and stumbled out the door trying to catch up. And now here I am... at the gate at now 6:11am....but hey... at least I got time to blog. Right?

I wish I could take this excitement he has this morning and apply it to other time sensitive endeavors.... filing the taxes, mailing off the trash/water bill, my birthday and Christmas gifts.... where is the "better early than rushing" on that!?!?