Men & Madden

OK so I get we all have our things but the hold the football video game NFL MADDEN has over most men is just utterly senseless.

I have seen my hubby spend hours just setting up his franchise and not even playing the game! Making deals and setting contracts with computer generated players and fussing at the television because the players reject his offers. He's gotten so excited while picking up free agents that even I started throwing out salaries and found myself getting upset when the offer was rejected!  Greedy computer! I've seen him use a game function, where it allows him to replay the last play and zoom in on the ball holding player to watch his facial expressions. He'll say "Kirs, Kirs, watch this... watch how he shook em off, then I cut this way and faked him out, whooooooo." I find myself getting sucked into the trance, actually standing there and watching his play-by-play recount with added sound effects. Even calling out the players I knew and getting mad when he beat my favorite team. I had to remind myself 'its a game!' Now don't get me wrong... I too have lost whole days playing the Sims 2 and/or Sorority Life on Facebook, so I understand the simple pleasure of getting lost in the mindless fun. But I have yet to trip this hard.....

I catch him reverting back to doing things I see my little brother do when trapped in the video game trance. Excitedly run around the room, jump up and not sit down again for the next hour or so or dance around in a little circle because it's almost half time and he has to pee,JUST HIT PAUSE WHY DON'T CHA?!?! And oh oh oh, It's never enough to pull up a chair or sit on the floor or sofa to play in front of a 45 inch HDTV... no... the best Madden seat in the house is the coffee table! YES! Pull the coffee table up to about a foot in front of the huge television to play! Geeze! Do you have to be able to see the sweat on the computerized men? I see we'll be at Vision Works soon enough.

But the funniest and by far the one story that proves my theory of the Madden trance is this.... 


While my best friend and Goddaughter are in town for a visit, we get hungry (something most people do.) I say "Kevin we're hungry, let's go get something to eat", he says "OK, let me finish this game, its the Super bowl." I say, "um... can't you pause it?" He pauses the game and we leave to go eat . Now while we are gone, the conversation never, not even once eludes back to the paused "Super Bowl" game waiting patiently at home. He makes no mention of dying to get back or shows any impatience as we eat, chat and enjoy the time out. We get back to the house and he pulls the car into the garage. Since she didn't want to fuss with the car seat, my bestie followed us in her car and I get out to help her remove the sleeping baby in her back seat. While walking with the child in my arms, I notice the sound of the car running... I turn and say " Krista, turn the car off." She replies by holding up her keys to show me its not her car. I walk closer to the garage to see Kevin's empty car and hear the engine humming. I walk into the house thinking to myself 'maybe he's going back out?'  But low and behold, where do I find him? Sitting on the coffee table, less than a foot away, eyes glued to the TV, playing MADDEN!! 

So I ask him... "um... are you  going back out?" "No." he replies. "Then why is your car still running?"  He hits pause and jumps up, "Is it really?" WOW!!!


So it must take a hellava hold over your mind to get out of your car, which is parked in the garage (so I know you can hear it), and leave your car running all because you are so eager to get back in the game. Even when I have to pee so bad it hurts, I always seem to manage to at the very least turn the car off...

I only wish I knew the secret seduction sports and video games had over men. They gamble away their wealth, beat up their bodies and loose their health and apparently leave their cars idling in an open garage all for the love of the game. Maybe this is just something women aren't supposed to understand, like eating cold, days old pizza and wearing dirty socks, but I guess its something every woman everywhere has dealt with, is dealing with or will see at some point in her dealings with men of all ages.