A Quick Year in Review with a Twist....

So... It's been what over a year (I suck, I know) since the last post but hey.... Life happens. So to bring it up to speed.... Kevin and I both took new jobs back in December of 2011... fell all out about how we were gonna sign up for benefits - he just had to keep his own Dental because if my new Atena policy didn't cover Dr. Lestor it was the end of dental health as we know it!

2012 Q1 & Q2 at a glance....

So the new year started off with heavy travel for myself in my new position and a lot of time away from home learning the ropes at work. We coasted right into the spring with no memorable events until March when I decided I wanted new living room furniture.... WHY!?!?!?

So we hit every major furniture outlet in the city. All I wanted was a simple loveseat, chair & a half & outtoman... easy right? Ha! My love even took me out to the super furniture place in Hickory... can you say 1950's decor?!?! So we ended up at old faithful - Value City! Found this GREAT set at a GREAT price... finally I'm beaming. Hoping that he is just exhausted from the weekends of searching and coming up empty - I'm ready to purchase when I hear in his whiny voice... " But babes.... its Purple!"

OK ya'll.... a) it was Plum, not purple, there is a difference! b) the majority of the seat was Grey, the accent pillows had the plum color c) it was HOT! So what, it matched the pieces we were keeping and brought in an element of color! But he was relentless.... So I counter acted his play with a whine fest of my own. That was quickly stopped by the stone cold "Richardson Wall" trick where he turns his lips up, crosses his arms, shakes his head and repeats "No, nope, Uh Uh" until I'm too angry to argue anymore. End of story... we got the beige and brown set. Yea - I lost.

Game Changer....

So fast forward to May - still enjoying my beige/ brown first runner up furniture and still coasting right along. Kevin has been crazy busy with his new job so again, nothing funny to report. I decide to accept an invite for a girls trip to Miami for memorial day weekend. Give him time to work and gives me something to do.

Trip was great! Wish I could say we stayed up every night partying hard but it made me realize I am no spring chicken (or so I thought). Most nights I was ready to crash by mid night or catch a nap mid day. I totally felt like the old fart....I'm  thinking  to myself " I can not keep up with today's youth"! But the trip was fun nonetheless!

Upon my return home I made a shocking discovery... my period was a day late. Now most people would say "SO?" but my period comes like taxes! No excuses, no extensions without request, always on time... uterus like the IRS... so a day is like a month late on your tax return!

Thinking "no way", I took a test we keep in the house for such occasions. It took everything in my being to keep from screaming when that second pink line jumped into my line vision and set off a series of events I in no way saw coming! WHAT THE WHAT!?!?!

I was in denial... How could this happen that fast? I  quit the pill like 3 weeks ago! We haven't even been in the same city the majority of the month ( I had to travel earlier in the month for work)! So I did what any college educated gainfully employed woman would do, I went and bought every brand of test on the store shelf! LOL -  Well I did!

Needless to say.... they all said the same thing... "Momma, momma, momma, momma."

The next day, I take one of those positive digital tests, you know the kind that just say pregnant and put it in a gift box. I purchase a Father's Day card and leave it on the stairs where he will see it as soon as he comes in. I waited at the top of the steps for his reaction where he couldn't see me waiting.... of course like a dude... he grabs the card and box and proceeds to come straight up the steps with no stopping. So there I am... sitting... and of course he stops. " What's all this?" he says. "A gift, your supposed to open it" I say. " Is this for all my hard work at work?" he asks. " Ummmm.... " I say. He opens the box and stops breathing.

He did not move or talk or blink or exhale or twitch or nothing for like 10 minutes. "Say something" I plead.... he looks at me and smiles and hugs me and says " awww babes!"

Score!

Vacation Day 5

OK... so yesterday wasn't very eventful depending on what your consider adventure. Kevin didn't really do anything crazy except using the ladies room but I guess the signs in Spanish can be confusing.  I guess the lil chick in the dress icon wasn't enough.

So Wednesday was Spa day. I thought this would be my favorite day but it didn't end up that way. So I swore I was about to get my 'Real Housewife' on, but little did I know that the cost of beauty those women pay was a check my a$$ couldn't cash.

It started as a nice couples massage. Which was pretty good. Kevin later told me  ole' girl was a little rough on him but the MAN in him wouldn't let him ask her to go easy. Dudes!....anyway the real deal came when I decided I was gonna be glam and get a body treatment. I requested a jojoba bean body scrub exfoliation. This is to exfoliate the entire body and leave you glowing!

Well, after a very relaxing massage I was taken into a room that reminded me of  mortuary! There was a big white tub with a table in it, lined in plastic with towels all over the place. On the ceiling were all these shower heads attached to this big piece of glass. I was told to strip down and lay on the table... I covered my teets and whoohaha with these small towels. I felt like I was about to be  embalmed! She first rubbed me down in this citrus smelling oil, which was nice and totally threw me off from what was about to happen. She then used the salt scrub they usually use on your feet all over me. Now it wouldn't have been so bad but this woman had the strongest hands I had ever felt! I swear this woman scrubbed off not only a layer of dead skin but old childhood chickenpox marks and tattoos! I swear I was on fire!! This was NOT the relaxing and refreshing body treatment I thought it was going to be.

But that is not where it ends! After she braised me from toes to ears, she covered my face with a small towel and moved the ceiling showers right above me and turned them on. She turned them on one by one starting at my feet and going up... all of a sudden the shower head blasted down on my chest and soaked the towel on my face. I flipped out! Have you ever had a towel on your face and someone spill water on it?! It felt like I was drowning. I swore I have seen them use that move as a method of torture in  movies. I started flappin around on that table and freakin out! She finally recognized my panic and turned the jets off and used a hand held shower head to rise me.

When it was over, yes I had baby soft and smooth skin but I was traumatized! It felt like I had a full body sun burn! So if this is the kinda stuff those Richy, glitzy woman are into...I ain't about that life! I'm gonna stick to the spa mani/pedi.... that I can handle.



the Death Shower

We are now starting the last day of our vacation and will be back in Charlotte tomorrow night... my next post will probably be from the airport...wish us safe travels. Peace.

Vacation Days 3 & 4

So Monday and Tuesday were pretty good. Since Monday was the 4th, there were fireworks in one of the local towns and it was All American food in the buffet restaurant downstairs. They served a Mexican take on buffalo wings and mac n' cheese. It wasn't good but it was cute of them to  try. They even had the red, white and blue goin on....

We then spent the rest of the evening on the putt putt course... and we absolutely sucked! I ended up cheating the majority of the time and just using my club to drag the ball to the whole. I hate golf. But the worse came when a drunk guy on the course told us we sucked because we were using left handed clubs... then joked he thought we was drunk and better than me! The prick.

We decided to spend days 3 & 4 in the local towns. First we went to Cabo San Jose which was nice but really old. I guess you  call that "historic". There was this church there built in 1730. One of those churches you see in  movies, where  its all stained glass, candles and statues of Mary. The birds fly out the big open doors and you know its about to go down. It even came with a toothless town drunk. Kevin stood at the back of the church "keeping an eye on him if he 'jumped off'." I'm sure this dude had seen plenty of lost fights in his day and wasn't about to jump no where.

The next day we ventured out to Cabo San Lucas. This is the more "American" city....where you can find the Starbucks, other restaurants and the mall. So you know where I went!... this mall was pretty nice on the outside, but when you got inside was straight up Eastland. Empty stores, cops galore and Beyonce playin extra loud in the stores. But all in all it was nice. They even had a "luxury ave" in which you stepped out of Eastland and into South Park. Or should I say Lennox Mall?? I surely saw the most "fabulous" broke wrist Cabo had to offer. IDK if those lil blue things were shorts or underwear... but skinny boyfriend was workin it, you hear me!?! Eyebrows were tougher than mine!

Not sure if she was actually squeezing it or
if I just caught the pic that way?

Vacation Days 1 & 2

Well Happy 4th of July!

My bad for not posting since the airport fiasco, I've been eating, drinking, swimming and trying to adjust to this God forsaken time change since we got here.

So the hotel is pretty freaking awesome. Best thing about Mexico is as soon as you touch down they start offering you tequila. Margaritas were served as soon as we walked into the hotel... I was a little buzzed by the time we made it to the room!



The room is flipping awesome! They had that thing laid out for us...

Saturday was easy going...just getting adjusted and settled in. Kevin managed to remain normal and didn't give me any good  blog material. Whomp Whomp....

Yesterday was our first full day here... again because of the 2 hour time difference, we were up before the sun at 5:30am. So I convinced my love to hit the gym, with me....and he actually did it! Awww!

After breakfast, which again was flippin awesome.... we hit the beach. Or really the beach hit me...

Man, when I say these were some seriously fun waves.... so many times I found myself rolling up the beach at the tide brought me in. I thought was I swimming, but when a white guy ran up to me asking if I was OK, I figured my tumble from the sea looked as bad as it felt. The water claimed a braid or two, my sun shades and tried to take my bikini bottoms...I gave up after that and just hit the pool. Kevin, however, was smart enough to never gone out far enough into the water to reach his knees... so the currents never got the best of him. I can still hear him laughing.... Jerk! LOL

Anyway... time for a "Ghetto Act fact". Act Fact of the day- Tell the hotel staff you are there celebrating your Anniversary and see the free stuff roll in!

I swear this marriage thing has some nice benefits! Not just an excuse to call each other for no reason and not feel pressed, not just getting to spend all of your time with your favorite person, & not just having someone to love, cherish and respect you and all things you love.... but the benefit of all the free stuff you get in this first year!! LMBO!!!

So today is the 4th and we're about to get breakfast and hit one of the local towns for some shopping. I will be bringing back tequila, key chains and shot glasses like any other tourist...toodles.





Our first vacation: travel day 1

I soooo wish I could have gotten the lap top to connect sooner so the time stamp could be proof of the time. I knew it... I knew it and I said it. Here we are....a little over an hour and a half before the flight just sitting. I tried to kill time from the security check point by walking so slow I think I kinda pissed him off. But hey, Wheres the rush?

He woke me up at 4am, like he said he would and I swear before I could get out of the bathroom this man was fulling dressed and jingling keys... car was already sitting outside as he had pulled it out of the garage...bags at the staircase.. book bag on his back. Excited much? So... I wiped the crud out my eyes, choked on some Listerine and stumbled out the door trying to catch up. And now here I am... at the gate at now 6:11am....but hey... at least I got time to blog. Right?

I wish I could take this excitement he has this morning and apply it to other time sensitive endeavors.... filing the taxes, mailing off the trash/water bill, my birthday and Christmas gifts.... where is the "better early than rushing" on that!?!?

Our first vacation

So.. we're in the midst of planning our first big vacation! Just us two , for a week in Cabo St. Lucas, Mexico.

Now, Kevin is the Ultimate Worrier , especially when it comes to certain things like.... money, kids, money, work, money, family, money, church and traveling. Hince... this post.
For example... on a simple trip home to Maryland... on the crack of dawn return flight, Kevin had us at the airport so early for the 60 minute flight there was literally no one at work yet to check us in. Once we were finally checked in, we were still so early the wouldn't let us thru security. Why? you guessed... the officals weren't at work yet! "Sir, we can't let you in more than an hour before the A.M. flights"
Geez! I told him we didn't have to leave that early!

So... for this vacation we have yet another breaking dawn flight. Now since this is and international flight, I do understand arriving earlier than you would for a domestic flight. But ya boy wants to get there about 2.5 to 3 hours before the flight. Claiming " I rather be early than rushing." Welp... we're already packed, checking in online the day before and both know our way around this airport so I just don't understand the need to sit at the gate for an hour plus?!? What else is there to do in the Airport besides eat and buy stuff you don't need to kill time?
So when we do what he wants to do and leave home at 4:15am, get checked in with bags by 5:15am and are sitting at the gate until our 7:30am flight, don't be surprised by the attitude of my next blog.... imma be ill!

Men & Madden

OK so I get we all have our things but the hold the football video game NFL MADDEN has over most men is just utterly senseless.

I have seen my hubby spend hours just setting up his franchise and not even playing the game! Making deals and setting contracts with computer generated players and fussing at the television because the players reject his offers. He's gotten so excited while picking up free agents that even I started throwing out salaries and found myself getting upset when the offer was rejected!  Greedy computer! I've seen him use a game function, where it allows him to replay the last play and zoom in on the ball holding player to watch his facial expressions. He'll say "Kirs, Kirs, watch this... watch how he shook em off, then I cut this way and faked him out, whooooooo." I find myself getting sucked into the trance, actually standing there and watching his play-by-play recount with added sound effects. Even calling out the players I knew and getting mad when he beat my favorite team. I had to remind myself 'its a game!' Now don't get me wrong... I too have lost whole days playing the Sims 2 and/or Sorority Life on Facebook, so I understand the simple pleasure of getting lost in the mindless fun. But I have yet to trip this hard.....

I catch him reverting back to doing things I see my little brother do when trapped in the video game trance. Excitedly run around the room, jump up and not sit down again for the next hour or so or dance around in a little circle because it's almost half time and he has to pee,JUST HIT PAUSE WHY DON'T CHA?!?! And oh oh oh, It's never enough to pull up a chair or sit on the floor or sofa to play in front of a 45 inch HDTV... no... the best Madden seat in the house is the coffee table! YES! Pull the coffee table up to about a foot in front of the huge television to play! Geeze! Do you have to be able to see the sweat on the computerized men? I see we'll be at Vision Works soon enough.

But the funniest and by far the one story that proves my theory of the Madden trance is this.... 


While my best friend and Goddaughter are in town for a visit, we get hungry (something most people do.) I say "Kevin we're hungry, let's go get something to eat", he says "OK, let me finish this game, its the Super bowl." I say, "um... can't you pause it?" He pauses the game and we leave to go eat . Now while we are gone, the conversation never, not even once eludes back to the paused "Super Bowl" game waiting patiently at home. He makes no mention of dying to get back or shows any impatience as we eat, chat and enjoy the time out. We get back to the house and he pulls the car into the garage. Since she didn't want to fuss with the car seat, my bestie followed us in her car and I get out to help her remove the sleeping baby in her back seat. While walking with the child in my arms, I notice the sound of the car running... I turn and say " Krista, turn the car off." She replies by holding up her keys to show me its not her car. I walk closer to the garage to see Kevin's empty car and hear the engine humming. I walk into the house thinking to myself 'maybe he's going back out?'  But low and behold, where do I find him? Sitting on the coffee table, less than a foot away, eyes glued to the TV, playing MADDEN!! 

So I ask him... "um... are you  going back out?" "No." he replies. "Then why is your car still running?"  He hits pause and jumps up, "Is it really?" WOW!!!


So it must take a hellava hold over your mind to get out of your car, which is parked in the garage (so I know you can hear it), and leave your car running all because you are so eager to get back in the game. Even when I have to pee so bad it hurts, I always seem to manage to at the very least turn the car off...

I only wish I knew the secret seduction sports and video games had over men. They gamble away their wealth, beat up their bodies and loose their health and apparently leave their cars idling in an open garage all for the love of the game. Maybe this is just something women aren't supposed to understand, like eating cold, days old pizza and wearing dirty socks, but I guess its something every woman everywhere has dealt with, is dealing with or will see at some point in her dealings with men of all ages.